Anyways, I used to get a lot of crap when my kids were babies; whenever they would cry I picked them up or I attended them. I've always tried to respect my kids when they were in need by listening. As I did this and encountered others who disagreed, I found it hard to explain myself on why I did so. Today when I came across this article by licensed therapist Deborah Pettitt (who specializes in helping children with attachment issues), I couldn't resist posting it here. It debunks the common (and dare I say damaging?) method that so many parents use today:
Children’s Attachment Issues Increase with the Cry it Out Method
Posted: Thu, 23 Jun 2011
It is sobering to report that I continue to see children in my practice that suffer from attachment issues due to loving parents receiving poor advice. They have been encouraged to use the “cry it out” method of teaching a baby to sleep through the night. Generally they have been told to ignore the child if he wakes. After a period of time the baby will learn to sleep through the night. Actually what the baby learns is that no one will come to meet his need so he stops trying.
Unfortunately the main thing that an infant needs to learn in the first year is to trust adults to take care of him. Additionally he needs to learn that parents continue to exist when they are out of sight (object permanence). The “cry it out” technique short circuits his ability to learn both of these things. Misinformed advisors who contend that a baby needs to adapt to the parents world do not understand child development. It sound nice but causes the child to be hindered in completing key emotional developmental milestones.
Parents that adopt young at risk children need to be particularly aware of this. The child may be chronologically three years but emotionally three months. The opportunity to sooth with the parent’s presence is important. You can get expert advice on helping children with sleep problems at Dr. Sears website.
Unfortunately the main thing that an infant needs to learn in the first year is to trust adults to take care of him. Additionally he needs to learn that parents continue to exist when they are out of sight (object permanence). The “cry it out” technique short circuits his ability to learn both of these things. Misinformed advisors who contend that a baby needs to adapt to the parents world do not understand child development. It sound nice but causes the child to be hindered in completing key emotional developmental milestones.
Parents that adopt young at risk children need to be particularly aware of this. The child may be chronologically three years but emotionally three months. The opportunity to sooth with the parent’s presence is important. You can get expert advice on helping children with sleep problems at Dr. Sears website.
Director of the Family Christian Counseling Center of Phoenix
1300 E Missouri Ave, Suite A200
Phoenix, AZ 85014
